Saturday, March 08, 2008 . Emoing dammit

I have done some thinking about life recently.

I mean, there are a lot of things out there in the real world, which most of our immature teenage minds cannot handle due to the overprotection and false sense of security we get by being in school.

I believe everyone has a purpose. What is my purpose? To become a musician and unite the world through metal? To use my music as platform to fight for the total democracy, the freedom, of our fellow Singaporeans?

As much as i believe that we all have rights to live, the minute we stand up against the government a little, we will be stopped. Its sad. Really.

Life is really dull. Its the same thing. Theres no essence, no excitement, no action. Its just so repititve that im getting bored.

Its worse when you dont have someone by your side.

I, rahmat and red were sitiing on the school swing yesterday, talking bull abt life and girls. Sometimes i really wish, that she could be the one sitting with me on the swing; imagine how much more fun there would be.

When you have the person of your dreams beside you and loving you, you feel that the world is blissful and you are so lucky.

Which im not.

I can imagine myself and her all day, sitting in a park, lying down on the grass and viewing the night sky, i can imagine us watching a movie, i can imagine that shes holding my hand and we are walking on the street together. It just feels so different. So much different.
But i can imagine anything i want, im not going to get her.

But i just want a gf. Sounds despo? Nah, Im givng up on her. Nth i can do abt it. Shes happy, im happy. Tats all.

I can always turn to someone else for love. Why do i need to like somebody im never gonna get, waste my life away, when im better off being with a person whom i get can along with?

It sounds as if im changing targets as if i change underwear, but i just want love in my life. Its so depressing not having someone to share it with sometimes, given that my life is pure boredom.

I want the other her now. Shes the one.
And there isnt going to be anymore after her.
I love(d) you alright.

- this theoretic realization... 12:58 PM
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